Easter Holiday (FMP)

Over Easter my experiments and explorations have become much more focussed, as I have now gained a much clearer idea of what I would like to produce through this body of work. Focussing on my theme reflection, I have been drawing and working primarily in paint this week, on compositions reflecting my surroundings, and feelings in my surroundings, working towards creating a painting on a broad based reflection of my mind.

This study is a slightly distorted version of my room and reflects inner dark feelings that feel don’t always show on the outside. The portrait of myself dressing is a reflection of myself feeling fragile where the lines dragging accross the figure allude to how I feel so trapped and attached to my room at present. The larger portrait reflects the version of myself that isn’t so put together and often appears as a sort of character in my head, the dark angry part, that I feel looming my head from time to time. I like the way many elements of the drawing look as though they are lying flat on top of the rest, it lends the composition a sort of chaos and broken structure that represents the sort visuals I see when I close my eyes.

The light shining through my curtains one morning created a sort of airy atmosphere throughout my room and so I made these studies, from life, attempting to capture that light. I was also experimenting with oil paint and trying out different glazes, so although I admit these are not my most rendered works, in creating them I learnt lots about the medium and so they are all together very useful.

I looked some more at works by Brigitta Kocsi, I appreciae the way she layers her colours and directs her strokes in certain ways to suggest the shape of rooms, while also maintaining a sort of jagged, broken structure to her paintings- like I wish to include in mine. I began making studies from life of my own room attempting to include some of Kocsis’s techniques.

I ventured off into some new waters through these studies, as they’re almost abstract- like , and very different to much of my other stuff. I worked on these from life, which I find much more thrilling than working from photographs especially when trying to distort/ enlarge elements for seeing the real thing helps me visualise these distortions and I find I’m able to draw, often not looking at the paper but instead, following the real object with my eye , while allowing the pencil/ brush to move along the paper – I find I get such interesting results. I slowly built up layers and marks, starting first with light washes of ink to loosely plot out the elements. I am not so fond of how they appear alone, but perhaps if I were to include sections like this in a painting, alongside more detailed, rendered, parts I would have a strong composition.

This is another study of my room, but this time in oil paint, based on the abstract-like versions I produced, shown above. Painting on a piece of tinted grey, gesso primed paper, I used turpentine as a thinner, and was again, attempting to explore how colours and glazes work on top of one another. I still have a lot to grapple and learn with oil paints but I am most definitely enjoying the process

Above are some words that come to mind while I reflected over a roll and so I wrote them down. I am unsure yet, whether I wish to include writing in my paintings but I wrote them down nevertheless, for they prompt ideas.

Above is another very quick sketch I made from life right after waking up, I am fascinated, lately, in the way my duvet scrumples and by the way my curtains hang.

In developing my studies a little more, I came up with this composition idea which I may very well use to inform my final painting lots. I like the way the elements are piled together in such a way that they almost look, along with the wobbly lines as though they will collapse at any moment. I am beginning to think I may work in mixed media for my final piece for I am able to work in such a flow while using mixed media, and I find different mediums support each other while creating an eye catching terrain. The rug is inspired by a rug from my childhood, my childhood being something I often reflect on and think about.

This is another composition idea I drew, mostly from life from the mirror. The background features younger versions of myself, as quite often, while reflecting on myself I think back to my younger self, and I wonder what little Aisha thinks of the older Aisha I have become. I feel, sometimes that she is watching me. I think including different versions of myself in the composition lends the piece a narrative, and much more depth and so I want to explore this a little more. The swirly smoke is inspired by the way John Byrne paints smoke:

These studies were exploring different techniques, the top concentrating on light and dark across the face and a way for me to get back into the flow of painting with acrylic. In the bottom study I was attempting for an almost translucent drawing, as though it’s a literal reflection in a mirror, and was influenced by the image below. I need to try the bottom study again for I can do better, the colour and line work is too bold for it to appear reflection-like.